HARrIcane...!!!

Just a Touch... :)

2009-08-23T00:30:00.003+08:00

July 11th, 2009... I woke up in the morning and I could not take my eyes off the phone.. All I could think of was - 'When am I gonna receive that call' ... and finally the tone that I had set for my dad rang at around 11.00 AM.. I was excited..nervous...anxious.. and above all.. THRILLED.. !!

He asked me to pack my bags and come to Chennai and said nothing more.. !! .. I was stumped.. I expected more out of him.. n as I tried reaching my brother in law, my mother and out of desparation.. even my sister.. !!!.. but - No Luck.. none answered.

Mixed feelings, I managed to board my bus and reached Chennai at around 8. Unable to control my urge, I called my uncle and asked him - 'Where is my sis?'.. and all He could give out was the hospital name...

I rushed to the hospital and enquired at the reception.. (as all my call attempts never made any difference in the result..).. I was directed to room 603.. and as I entered the floor my dad and my brother in law were waiting outside..

I was super furious for such acts of them.. (not answering the phone when its most needed)... and I was about to enter the room... My dad said.. 'Your shoes..'

I removed them and walked inside to see - 'The most cutest sight ever seen in my life - My Little bundle of Joy - My nephew' he was not sleeping and neither he knew what he was doing... but as he waved his hands and legs oin his own rhythm, an occasional touch or kick onto my palm.. ' all my anger went away and I said to myself.. 'I would give my life to protect this darling... ' and kissed my sister on her forehead... and that was the time in my life that I knew... People can cry even when they are happy.. !!

Out of the blue... !!!

2008-10-03T11:17:00.003+08:00

Went of to a dizzy last night with loads of things running on my mind (rather imposed on me, that it went on over n over), N i woke up this morning with a lightning bolt question -

" When will people realize, that there is no one's world that revolves around just one person ? "

and am looking for answers... !!!!

How to name it...!!

2008-04-18T01:28:00.003+08:00

Compare it to the tenderness of a dew,
Doesn't actually work with all but a few,
When words don't say it all under the hood,
Still you would be understood...

Just a smile or just a tear,
You would want to share,
Neither hopes, nor expectations,
Its pure and beyond words limitations...

If they say diamonds are forever,
I wonder who's that fool..so clever,
More precious than the biggest diamond,
Is a true heart that cares, a friend...!!!

Illusions....

2008-03-10T17:41:00.000+08:00

Was cruising along the highway in my car, comforted in an air conditioned cocoon, with afternoon sun in its dehydrating spree, and there it was at a distance, the best part of a heat struck road...the Mirage. Saw it for the first time and was lost when I heard how it was formed...But the beauty of it was, it was there though the watery surface was actually not there...height of illusions if nature...

But this thought happens only for the first time and when you have realized that its an assumption, an illusion, the next time you see it...You know what trick is nature upto with you...

But when it comes to real everyday activities, why is man not able to understand the same..?? Illusions are a part of life, and man has drawn an illusionary veil around him....that he fails to recognize these illusions...

2 U my friend...

2007-11-10T16:00:00.000+08:00

Time stood still, against my will,
When I saw it happen, on a eve of kicks n thrill,
Had no words, to explain to all,
But yes I was lost, after the great fall...

Wasn't a fall from a height,
Nor was loss in my might,
But something was not right,
I was loosing a loved one from my sight...

Was blown away,
When I just started to sway,
Word's of comfort, yes people did say,
But in the end, U left me in dismay...

I pray for you to rest,
Though in fate, I lost trust,
Its a promise our kinship will never go down to dust,
Am using this chance, to say you were the best...!!!

Puzzle...

2007-09-06T18:39:00.000+08:00

Alienated by space, Lost track of time...
In the lush greens, which I have seen only in my dreams...
Sun's rays masked by the fog...
Heaven on Earth, I was not wrong...
With natures rhyme, like a melody with no words...
Awakening my spirit, from the nailed coffin so cold...
Right was everything, but there was something amiss...
Yelling silence, trying to preach on the missing piece of the puzzle...
All the first letters of this scribble, was the answer in the burst of a bubble...

Once bitten..Twice Shy....!!

2007-07-20T00:17:00.000+08:00

I do not know how many of you have experienced what I am experiencing right now...let me pen down and its left for you to answer...

Many things happen in our lives which for the first time make no sense and we are forced to or rather bound to react on the limited scope called REFLEX...be it a physical proocation or a mental one...but if a similar event occurs again one applies his mind and looks for a more concrete solution, thus making him an provoking him to think rather than act in reflex...Why is it?

Nature...My Lovely teacher....

2007-06-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

In the arms of nature,
Cradled into a swinging sleep,
Hearing the Earth's song,
Anything and Everything, heavenly and pure...

Placid in its appearence,
Like layers of dew on leaves,
Unfathomed at undefined locations,
Just something like, Human emotions...

What you sow, is what you reap,
Words so simple, unfathomable when thoughts run deep,
The Earth did say something, and so did the prople,
But when the Earth speaks, our voices go feeble...

Never did I think, Ignorance was bliss,
If I did not know it, it was something I missed,
Silence and sight, proved me wrong in this,
At times, Ignorance is heavenly and the ignorant - Blessed...

Time has come to part, from the arms of Mother Nature,
It was an experience, I felt her grand stature,
A smile escaped my lips, with my heart yelling now,
"You always have me, Mother Nature my Love"

P.S...Wrote this when I was in Taman Negara - the national forest of Malaysia..!!

Why does this happen...??

2007-06-09T15:43:00.000+08:00

The leaves were swinging with the wind,
But my senses failed to feel them...
A thousand thorns pricked me,
I my search for the most beautiful rose,
Blood was red, and so were the roses...
But it was the roses I saw,
My blood was not in my eyes recognition...
Many beautiful composition passed throuhg my ears,
But my mind failed to realize even a single note...
The moist sand, the aroma of a candle,
Perfumes were beyond my sense of smell...
Lost was I, or was finding myself in You??
These could be the answers, or...
Could be the questions I wanna pose to You,
Lost in the sense of time, my own loud words, became a silent mime...

To You...

2007-06-08T19:26:00.000+08:00

Out I was, in a foreign land,
Under the pressure of work, sucking me down like quick sand,
The sunshine scared, more than appealing,
As it marked another day of work, that never heard - "Life's calling"....

Paternal feelings, and missing mothers touch,
Did not seem to worry me, as I did not have the time to even stretch,
Commitments to life, over shadowed by commitments at work,
There I was, not living but but did lurk....

Saw a glimpse of life, when friends were around,
And wanted to live, before work crushed me to ground,
Did few mistakes, thinking of none but my own,
Then you made me realise, Life is not about you alone....

Now I stand on a hanging bridge,
Looking for balance, to prevent myself falling over the ridge,
And there I see your hand, holding me from the fall,
Not for saving me alone, but to pull me up and tell me..."Answer Life's call"...

Helmet or Hell-met...??

2007-06-08T19:15:00.000+08:00

Well...this post has been boiling inside me for sometime now and here it comes out...

Wearing a helmet is for ones safety when he/she is on the bike...and it has to be something that has to be realized by people who bother about their own safety and for the people who are not bothered..to hell with them...When they do not care to listen why would you...

Even then, I thought the Government of my state made a bold decision to enforce the "helmet rule", and also the out come was great, people started wearing the helmets from the D-day...and i thought people would now at least be aware of the safety that they were not aware of is now making their chances of surviving an accident more bright...but i do not think anything would change in this country that mixes with politics with everything...right from individual safety...to the fertilizers used for crops in fields...they might fail to mix any component but never miss out - POLITICS...

The so called people do not use their brains or has the IQ in the country gone down so low..?? I saw a news the same evening and people were complaining

-" It feels like a burden on my head when I drive through the traffic..."..Morons- did u ever think about the burden you put on your loved ones if they are gonna hear that you died under a lorry with a head injury??

-"I am not able to see if any vehicle is coming behind me, my view is limited and you cannot expect every vehicle to have a rear view mirror in good condition..."...Dude..install some sense before installing the mirror on your bike...you think paying a mere 50 to 100 bucks for a rear view mirror is a waste of money n time..but if at all you meet up with an accident and one if you are dead..is your life worth only the 100 bucks you saved by not attaching a mirror there? and if my mistake, you survive, do you think all the expenditure for your operations and medicines is gonna be less than that 100 bucks...??

Grow up people, we talk about a brighter India full of youngsters and a youthful population, a responsible youth...answer this question...If you are not freaking responsible about your own life, how is it you are gonna be a part of a responsible society that is gonna make this country better...and my dear loved older people on bikes...If you people do not do it, how would you think the younger generation would...??

Use your brains and to protect it, use the helmet...else, I will meet you folks in HELL...!!!

Another Dream...

2007-06-03T22:01:00.000+08:00

Brushing away across the face,
With the warmth of sun's morning rays,
Flowers blossoming with the softest of dew,
My attention on all these, Was something new...

Lost in thoughts, I tried to reason,
What was the cause, that changed my mental season,
In the shroud of dim haze,
I tried to figure my way, through the maze...

Was it the sleep, or was it the Dream?
I did not get an answer, and my mind silently did scream,
For a second, I felt I should have dreamed on,
But voices calling my name, I had to reckon...

Cursing myself, feeling so lost,
I knew that, this dream had a cost,
I should have dreamed on, pricked a li'l thought like a knife,
I would have seen your face, My Love..My Life...

Monsoon...!!!come soon...

2007-06-01T01:04:00.000+08:00

The darkness of the night,
Shrouding the earth, from the sun so bright,
And up there somewhere in the dark,
I felt, I saw a spark,
Spark it was, blinding my eyes,
Shining glory, like a million fire flies,
It tore the night's shroud,
Lighting, too visibly proud...
With the winds smooth flow,
It was like a dream kiss and go,
The shrouds companion,
Silence,Was disturbed by thunders menace,

Too upset, I thought the night would give away,
Then something happened, proving the night was here, to stay,
The first drop of tear, a fact so unclear,
But when it touched me, I shreiked - 'The monsoon is here...'

Acceptance...

2007-05-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

Just adding few cumilative points and few good questions to be asked...to the post 'I am beautiful, So are you', by Mira...

By the principle of duality, every person is unique in the face of this universe and every specimen has its own counter specimen too..this is the law on which this whole freaking universe works and there is a meaning for life on Earth..So why has to one change

1. The law on which life has a reason,
2. As a person, which will make another person feel lost..??

Life is all about yourself, and all that you have is because of what you are, friends, family and emotions from all around you...

But when it comes to acceptance from others for what you are, if they do not like you for what you are, and you want to change yourself for one person, what will the others who have you as an integral part of their life do..?? Change themselves with respect to you in picture..?? Do you realise how much of changes around is induced by you, cause not all people have the mind and heart to accept you as a person for what you are, and if they do not..they are at loss and not you..

Never change for someone else, change in you should be self induced and for good..!!!..

Hope the one for whom this is meant reads it..!!!

Faith or Fate...??

2007-05-29T21:58:00.000+08:00

Have been wondering on this for sometime now...and decided to write this post..hoping to get some answers by the end of this scribbling...

Was talking to one of my friends about he doing his MS in the US (his dream and faith)...and all he had to say was...I do not know dude...have done my part in getting a good score in GRE(1430/1600) and days before the interview for his Visa...he said..now I leave it to fate...

Another friend of mine, who was actually worried about providing the best education for her daughter, all she had to say was...'Hope all the hard work pays of and things fall in place' and she was given solace by saying - 'edhu varanamo adhu varum' which translates to 'Wuts destined will happen'...

I mean, it is like trying to toss a coin and get both head and tail, which is actually impossible.. I have been brought up with an ideology which simply put says - 'Hard and Smart work always pays off ' and I have been believing in my faith in what I do than my fate, but it still gives me a confused thought when people say - "You are destined for bigger things in life than saying, You will make it big...!!!..."

Do I trust in my Faith or Fate...??

Zone of Influence...

2007-05-26T11:06:00.000+08:00

I call myself the Harricane n it took me so long to understand this simple fact...What you are in this whole world in anyone's eyes is not yourself but is a sculpted influence of others.

When you are a kid, its the parents influence as you grow...when in the age where you spend more time with friends than family...its the life changing influence of them...and so on one is influenced till death...and the worst part is that, at some point when you have your own kids, you also are a part of the Influnce causing loop... Knowing all these we still talk about individuality and not being influenced by others..??

End of the day - "Your whole strength and power, vigor and rage and all the attributes that one can associate with him/her self is not actually what you are but it is the influence of others.
How many occasions has it been that you have cried because of yourself, that you have laughed at things you have done for yourself and count the number of times others around you have made you cry and made you laugh/smile. The difference is enormous.

Now all that i doubt is...How many people have i influenced so far..and WHY..??

AsSuMpTiOnSsSsSsSs..

2007-05-26T10:59:00.000+08:00

The biggest killer in any kind of a relationship...people just assume things all by themselves not even knowing what the other person is going through nor understanding that in how deep a pit is the other person standing, drowning him.her self.

Do not understand why, that when everyone does everything to keep others happy, but at the same time when it comes to they hurting themselves, the sting of assumptions haunt their minds and they would neither want to look at reality and whts happening in front of them, nor will they have the patience to wait and listen to what others have to say or till they find a resolve for it...!!

Perspectives...

2007-05-20T16:49:00.000+08:00

Once pricked..Man will only see the thorns present in the most beautiful rose plants around him...

Jus Like tat...

2007-04-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

Its through You, I want to see the world,
But your words give me a feel, they are cold,
With time, my feelings for you are growing bold,
But you tell me - 'Please let go of your hold...'

"Possessiveness hurts", thats what you sue,
How much I love you, I don't think you have a clue,
I want to live with you, till the sky is blue,
Baby, its a wish and I hope it comes true...

Its about Us and its not You alone,
With feelings for you, rising in me as your clone,
Its my nature, to touch the tip of a knife once honed,
But my possessiveness is something that you want to be stoned...

I do know, I have NO right to possess,
But my Love for you, makes me express,
The distance from You, is the reason for all this stress,
Unexplained feelings for You, are the hardest to supress...!!!

When...

2007-04-02T19:36:00.000+08:00

When the most softest rain drop, felt like a crushing boulder,
When its mild touch, felt like unbearable heaviness on my shoulder,
When the rain was pouring down, to make a drenched Me to feel colder,
When a warm hug from You is what I wanted, the distance made me cold even more bolder...

When the sweet smell of wet ground, became irritable more than pleasing,
When I asked the clouds above, why this teasing more than easing,
When the clouds answered me, with the rain intensity increasing,
When it was you I wanted to smell in my breathe, before its ceasing...

When the moist wisp of air, that burnt my skin away,
When I saw the trees swinging, happier than ever they did sway,
When I felt they asked me, you always wanted to see us this way,
When I told myself, that you were away...

When did I start feeling, it was strange to walk in the rain,
When did I realize, Missing You is a pain,
When did my world change, that distance would make feel slain,
When would you be back, so that I can be normal again...??

Making others happy...Ever thought about yourself..??

2007-03-29T23:07:00.000+08:00

Last night, I chatted with one of my dear friend over the internet and she asked me...how is your girl friend doing...and my reply was...She is fine I guess...and my reply bemused her..."You guess...what is this Hari...!!!"...I had to explain to her as to how demanding my work was and she said, "All you guys are like this, work is imprtant to you, but so are we I guess..."...soon I got busy and had to sign out...but I had this thought lingering in my mind...and that forced me to write this...

'In life, how many things do we do to make ourselves happy and how many minutes we do things that we want to do?... Make ourselves feel that we are living a life of ours and not for/of someone else, be it anyone/anything you picture in the opposite chair...Life is not about ourself, I do understand that, but you are a peron yourself and you make a mark in others minds and hearts for what you are youself and not what you are for others...How many people are the same and think the same before engaging themself into any kind of a commitment? I would say very few...the elite and lucky few who are not influenced by the external factors in life...of any form or size...

There are many phases in ones life where one makes a shift in his priority list, don't they...at least I did...When I was in my sixth grade, the goals I set for myself was to finish my homework in time, so that my mom lets me sit and watch StreetHawk...Diddy's Comedy Show and other shows which were my world then, then came the second phase, where I had to compromise on cricket and my most passionate sport of my life Tennis when it came to givin priority to my studies...then came college, where one has the best part of his life and i do not blame anyone or anythin..but after college...everything is back to square one again...

Work needs more of your time and your social life is gone, so on and so forth...cause if I say more, this wil be more like whining and complaining which I am not...

I wonder what if there was a life that had you and only you and all you did and all you do is only for yourself...??..If there is a day like that, then trust me...I would not want it to ever end...!!! I wanna live my life for myself...;))

Possesiveness...the darkest evil in disguise...

2007-03-29T22:56:00.000+08:00

My dad always used to ask something to me, what is it on Earth that you possess when you enter this life and when you die what is it that you posses? And the answer is simple..NOTHING...!!!

But in the mean time, amidst all the fun and frolic that you have iin your mind and the very lucky few who execute few of the m to success as well, and say I am not possessive about anything or anyone..What the heck are you talkng of..??Are you true to yourself ??? I would say...NOPE...

There is something or the other that you are possessive of in this Earth and trust me..It hurts a lot when you are possessive of someone than something and when something happens with that person, whom you are possessive about...even though they themself are not responsible for what ever happened at any point, but still there is something that hurts....do you know the answer why...It is not because of what ever happened and to what extent it happened...when and how it happened and cause of whom it happened...it is just cause, it is to some special one that this very thinga happened to and even this is not the reason why your are hurt...It is that mere small evil in you, that has only one good reason for its existence in this planet..to HURT..!!

Tell me this, have you ever been so happy that someone you feel possessive of is really happy about something...?? You just shy of saying that, 'Hey he/she os happy, and am happy for him/her...'...but when you are hurt by your possessiveness, how many times have you said, 'Hey it is something that happened to him/her, am sorry for him/her...its not gonna bother me'...but when you are possessive does your mind ever think this way...??Nope, it is true and a fact that...'More than your mind, it is your heart that gets hurt the most...'

So tell me friends...Is it really worth feeling possessive about something or someone...when all it gives you is cribbing, hurt, pain, anger and agony..??

Blessed by Heavens...

2007-03-10T20:12:00.000+08:00

I wondered how much do we enjoy smaller things in life...Like getting drenched in the rain without worrying about getting wet, a long peaceful warm shower on a rainy day...a plate of hot crisps and piping hot tea on a gloomy day...the pleasure of spending a moment in your loved ones arms...Have always wondered do the 5 sensed animals feel the same...??

It was for the first time in my life...I thanked God for...Making me a human..who can sense all these and many other little pleasures of life...:))

Perspectives...

2007-02-11T00:15:00.000+08:00

Was looking at a few lovely pieces of modern art today...was at ma frenz place lookin at them...had ppl of many different characteristics and characters around..few rock fans who bothered about finding Creed (name of a band for the ignorant) in it...I found 3 new ppl in the same art...but people were wondering where I got that from...

I asked myself..Is perspective that big a term..that makes ones view always differ from others or is it just that peoples mind is made to think that way...??

Universal or Personified...

2007-02-10T20:45:00.000+08:00

Love, is it about the age or about the person with whom it is shared or about the different instances of the same emoition that makes you look at it, think about it in a different perspective..??

The whole world is bound by just one simple bond - Love. I am sure you will not disagree on this. Be it between a master and his/her pet, between the best of friends, between a parents and their children, someone known and someone unknown...but it is all about Love...

The question I have here is, when the whole world speaks and follows this powerful sparking language, and is tied together by this single strong feeling - Love, why is it that the one special feeling that is felt between a boy and girl at the age when they are about to get everything to start a new life which their parents did couple of decades back - Is the root cause of all the pain, pleasure and many such mixed feelings...??

Expectations...

2007-02-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

HURTS...

Chemical Lesson...

2007-02-05T16:17:00.000+08:00

Woke up with a startle last night...wondering what was I going to do in the Chemistry lab tomorrow... Experiments of course...but of what kind...I needed a change from that regular Chemistry practical sessions and I wanted a CHANGE...!!!

With this in mind I ended up planning stuff as to what all experimentation that i wanted to do which will make me feel good...at least a little better that will make me feel a little better than the pathetic mundane sessions...It struck me...'Let me try to mix chemicals, of different texture and different properties' and I said to myself...'if lucky, I might end up doing something good, which might not be a magic in the world of Chemistry but to me, in the small sphere I live in,
it will be a self proclaimed achievement...'

Time had come, and I had to plan my location in the Chemistry lab so that I am not noticed by the so called Prof's who wanted me to do nothing but the regular experiments which yielded the same regular results which was know to everyone...So I decided to find the most secluded spot and then for the ingredients for today's fun...the Chemicals...!!!

I wanted to try two things for sure, concentrated acids which are strong and with vigor all the time always capture my interest, was wondering how would a cocktail of all the three acids I was exposed to - Hydrochloric, Nitric and Sulphuric would cook up...and another property that always fascinated me was how would a cocktail of water and kerosene (the only inflammable material that my lab had) be like...Yipee...2 things that fascinated me always were to be
felt in person...Was excited about it...

The D day came, and my first experiment...Concentrated acids...It ended up in a blast...and they proved to be a strong mixture...and the next experiment...a mixture of kerosene and water... extremely different properties and texture, i poured kerosene first into the beaker and soon followed water...but...I was disappointed...they did not mix at all...!!!...the water and kerosene reacted in strange ways...they moved around as i shook the beaker, used the stirrer and tried
whatever I could, but they never mixed and it looked like they never wanted to mix...I hid the beaker for a day thinking something would happen, but things did not change even then...Was it a lesson that they wanted to teach me...??

It was then that my dad's words did strike me...'Hari, never try to mix two different things of different properties or different people with different ideologies in life, character and different views on life...the result will be...a Disappointing Disaster...'

Thanks Dad...I understood the words of wisdom that you always wanted me to learn...and I learnt it myself today...:))

Why not everyday...??

2007-02-01T10:33:00.000+08:00

I felt my fingers itch right from the moment i walked out of the meeting at office...I wanted to write something, but I did not know what was waiting to pour out my mind just like the froth flows out of well shaken up coke bottle, when it opens up...

Plans were happening to go to some place this weekend for many reasons...but for me, the only reason I knew was...I needed a break...Out of clubbing, out of this city where you feel more sound reflected from the walls of buildings than voice of people... The place was either Bangkok or Bintan...2 extremes but real getaways...I no longer wanted to see Hougang Avenue 7 on weekends...at least this weekend...Kala was @ Serangoon travels trying to find out the best of the 2...I was not able to bear the suspence anymore...

Called Kala to find out how the weekend plans were like...Just another day to go..I was read to rock...She said she will confirm it tomorrow...and I was the usual...leg pulling talk...and just like that the words eascaped from my mouth...I feel like writing something...and as if it was the second half of the sentence...Kala blurted out...'You cannot keep writing something everyday dude...there has to be something that makes you write...'...Unknowingly, I challenged her, Why not...but when I pondered over what I said jus few seconds back, I seriously asked myself... Why not?

I am someone who feels rather believes, impossiblity is the creator of solutions, still pondering over, I just asked myself, does your brain cease working ever..(though my friends say that it hardly works and my dad says It was never there..;))..)..jokes apart...when ones brain does not cease working for years together and there is something or the other that is being processed in it...Why is it not possible for man to make anything creative out of it...??

I just laughed at myself, saying...Dude, @ this rate you can write something every hour or even on a smaller time fragment...

Unanswered...

2007-01-30T15:11:00.001+08:00

Silent, might be the surrounding and voiceless might be the room, but your heart goes through a series of thousand questions...Unanswered...for which the mind seeks answers..from its limited scope of the past, and what your mind can recollect...but have you ever fekt the necessity of asking that one question to the one concerned, which will answer all the Unanswered puzzles...??

Blinded by Love..??

2007-01-30T15:10:00.001+08:00

I have this strange question...I have heard people in Love say..."If you are not around, I am nothing...I am nothing but you, I am nothin without you...etc etc...."...the question here is,

"If one person can give and be everything you want, what the heck are other's you know doing in your life...??"

It Ain't...

2007-01-30T15:09:00.000+08:00

It ain't about the person, it ain't about the time,
It ain't about the geography, it ain't about the historical background,
It ain't about profession, it ain't about perfection...

It ain't about the words said, but more about whats left unsaid,
It ain't about what YOU are, but more about what WE are,
It ain't loosing myself, but more about finding yourself...

It ain't happening to anyone else,But to your own self,The state where your mind goes silent, and the heart takes over,Its when your heartbeats soars, and the whole world goes slower,

Thats the beauty of a simple yet complex feeling...emotion...or call it whatever you want to...but the whole world calls
it...BEING IN LOVE...!!!

A rain drop...:))

2007-01-29T19:33:00.000+08:00

Just putting myself in the position of a lovely soothing drop of rain...

I am created, used and destroyed and recycled...wll these without my consent...cause nature wants me that way...but will all this be possible all by myself..

The sun, using its heat boils me up into vapour, sending me up and above where mere mortals do not reach and wow, it is much peaceful and serene there than the wicked earth beneath...a placid state of self realization with many folks like me around, not knowing why they are here but they are there...Do any of us on Earth know why we are here...??

As this thought goes through my mind...I hear heavy bangs around me and there I am, in the roller coater already not knowing where I am gonna land with a bang...might be in a farmers land...he wishing me with his heart content...or just another drop of water in the mighty unfathomable oceans...or in some party spoiling the whole fun and people cursing me and my kin from the bottom of their heart...here comes the SPOIL SPORT...or in many of those wet fearing folks umbrellas where i manage to trickle down as small drops from its pointed edges...and people stamping over me and sueing me for making their boots wet, and not worrying about the pain that I go through when I get stamped by them...or making a rain lover wet and happy and he cherishing every bit of me running all over him/her and thanking the heavens for sending me to him...
It is all decided in the very last second as to where I may fall and that decides whether I am a curse or a blessing...It is all perspective...

But like it or not...this is what my life is and everything is a matter of external influence and driven by many things around me...

If you are wondering what is this post all about and confused...so am I...;))...try to look at it from the writers perspective and you will feel wgat I want to convey...

Signing off till then...

Your Rain Drop...!!!

Is it all about...DREAMING..??

2007-01-22T11:22:00.000+08:00

Well...The best President India has ever got...Dr.APJ...the most greatest enterpreneur...Dhirubhai Ambani...and many great visionaries and real life people to the latest movie by ManiRatnam...Guru...Everyone of these greats share something in common: The power of Dreams...!!

But is it all about dreaming..?? If yes, then I would say most youth of our great country are good at it...infact I would say that we are the best...cause the whole of the youth population (few exceptions here and there) is still sleeping in the wraps of many layers...politics...materialistic pleasures and many like...and just like most people have this habit of talking few words in their slumber...the voice of most of these brothers and sisters of mine goes unnoticed...just like a sudden spell of rain in the deserts of Rajasthan which is talked of for few days and when the sun comes out...its all gone.

And after few thought provoking movies (the major source of zeal and passion that drives the nations youth)...few weeks of power filled cries come out...but that is again lost like rain in Cheerapunji...!!

We all dream...don't we...but the only thing that hits the nail on the head is - What is it that we dream of? and Do we make it a point to make the RIGHT dreams a vision, if not for the whole nation , but at least ourselves?

The question I have here is...Is it all about dreaming?

I would conclude it this way...

"Its not dreaming that makes one person or a country great, but it is He, who wakes up at the right moment and makes his dream a VISION, a REALITY that makes him great."

With LOVE...!!!

2007-01-10T15:50:00.000+08:00

Well..I am trying to find out a meaning for this feeling that makes someone who falls in it got through a whole roller coaster ride with almost all other feelings...!!

Possesiveness...Happiness...Hatred...Sympathy...Pain...Pleasure and the list could just go on...and this page would end...

But, such an emotion that acts as a root cause for many other emotions depending on the persons then state of mind...such a LOVEly abstract entity...rather the most complicate abstract entity man can ever experience...Is it worth to understand the meaning of this word from a lifeless sheet of paper in the dictionary..??I do not think so...

Many say that, you will not feel the importance of something when you possess it...but with Love...you will not understand the importance of anything/anybody else when Love possesses you...accept it or not...but its the fact...!!!

I am making this statement as general as possible...but put yourself in the place of someone who is in Love...and I think you will agree with me...

AtTiTuDe...NeVeR sAy DiE n NeVeR lEt DiE..!!!

2006-12-18T15:52:00.000+08:00

Its not about your nature and strengths...but its about the attitude in you and the instincts behind...!!!

None of the six sensed so called SOCIAL ANIMALS taught me this...Last night when I was watching the TV..one of my hardcore favourite channels...The Animal Planet...there was this amazing program about survival instincts...

It was a huge herd of wild bisons on one side...and who are not equipped enough to face all challenges from the fierce jungl which surrounds it...and all they have is their huge body strength and the sharp horns to defend itself from any kind of attack...!!

On the other end...there was this huge group of hunters and scavengers...One was the group of Lions...rightly named the King of the Jungle...and all it had in its vision was to feed it newly born cubs and all it has in its mind is the fact that...I need to hunt on the weaklings for my survival...!!!

And the other end was the group of Heyna's...these are pretty safe in the jungle for the fact being...they either feed on the carcus leftover by the hunters or they feed on the carcus of the hunters themselves...which are lying around lifeless after failing the hunt for their survival...!!..in simple words..its the hunter who is hunted...

Now in the focus of activity...There was this aged Bison which was finding it even hard to move its legs...and the hunters have spotted it already...and so did the scavengers...but the attitude of the bisons is what that is to be noted here...

Hunters waiting for the prey to die by itself..NEVER...its now that they are the most agressive...and the scavengers...waiting for the prey to die by itself or to be hunted...they would run in to get the most out of the sad death or the successful kill...!!!

Our showstoppers the Bisons...all they did were the strongest on the whole group circled themselves around the prey...and evading away any form of a breach attempted by the Lions or Heynas...and mind you..all of this using the only strength of their body...their Horns...!!!

But...think again...is the horns the only strength...??..Nope..not to me...I would say the very attitude of them standing on top..not mattering about whom they fought against...they tried saving the Bison till it breathed its last...they did not let it get HUNTED...!!!..and they also know that someday...they might be the prey...!!!

Now put yourself in the position of those bisons...the jungle being this weird wicked world...the hunters being the people who are waiting around to exploit your weakness...and the scavengers being those who attain all the much needed chunks for survival though they are not the hunters or the hunted...!!!

All that can save you till the eleventh hour..is the RIGHT ATTITUDE...!!!...and to fight till the last straw...

Tears...

2006-12-16T11:45:00.000+08:00

Always wondered...

It takes a lot to come out of the impact of 2 drops of tears from the depth of ones unfathomable eyes...than what it takes to free yourself from the impact of a giant Tsunami from the sea floor...

Its not the power that is involved but the emotion behind it...!!!

PaInFuL pLeAsUrE...!!!

2006-12-15T15:50:00.000+08:00

Days went by, where time never flies,
Nights went by, without sleep in my eyes,
Was it my mind, or was it my heart,
Though never have these senses in me, THOUGHT apart...!!

Lost my pace, am as fast as a snail,
Dew drops on me feel like shower of hail,
The very thought of this, makes me go pale,
As the pain of it, is like being hit with a nail...!!!

You never know how it would feel,
Unless you empathize or feel it for real,
When your heart skips a beat, in the past and now,
Its just because I MISS YOU my Love...!!!

Missing Day...

2006-12-14T14:08:00.000+08:00

I went out in the midnight thinking of the past few months that I have soent outside the comfort of home...

2 new places, of 2 different extremes...The U.S...a place which I liked more than I thought I would...for its sense of space...for its Starbucks...for the greenery...for the dream B-schools of mine...!!!...n many other reasons to hate it...like its lack of transport...

Then came in Singapore...Hated it right from day one...for its cramped nature, for people who donot know how to live life and majority of their time goes with WORK...!!!

With the rain drizzling and water droplets patting me on my scalp, I looked up to feel them on my face...And there it was...twinkling in the sky...like a star..transporting people across land masses and unfathomable oceans...an aeroplane...

Time had come and I had to walk back home...went for a warm shower and I was thinking of the good few months stay in the U.S...the indorr tennis sessions...the early morning cricket matches on the TV...the cold breeze against my face...still cannot forget the way when my little cousin wanted to come to Singapore with me...and suddenly...the sound of another aeroplane...Have never heard them back to back in such a short span since the time I landed here...

Time was telling me something...I wanted to figure out what it was. Finished my shower with this thought in my mind...I wanted to know it...and i checked out the time on my laptop screen...then something struck me...Aeroplane...when was the last time I was in it??

October 21, 2006...the night which basically turned my life around...I thought a lot about it when I was interviewed for Citigroup in August and I had to say an Yes for this one question.."If I was ready to travel from US to Singapore if required?"...going to 2 different countries in the expense of my company and being paid for it on top...It was like Ben'NJerrys chocolate icecrem being given to you witha 50$ bill...;))

But...this night I thought of this in a different way...I did agree to go from US to Singapore for the project..but did I give them the right to take away one day from my whole life..??..!!!

Yes..I lost one whole day...(That too a weekend..;))..)..wondering how...Well..here it goes...

Boarded a flight on the 21 Oct night @ 10:00...Flew to Stockholm where it was 21 Oct evening...then flew all the way KL where it was 5 in the morning...of 23rd October when I landed...though my entire flight including the Stockholm pitstop was for 20 hours...:-?...!@#$%^&*()...

Where the heck did 22 October, 2006 go...agree to it or not..I have lived one day less than you have in the stage of LIFE...!!!

Trust..is the THRUST!!

2006-11-06T00:48:00.000+08:00

Firstly...am just venting my minds words here...and its kind of an echoing thought in me that i am putting forth...might not make sense to many...I am sorry if you are one of those...

From my point of view...TRUST...Its the thrust of any form of a relationship...friends...parents...colleague...and off late....this thought and this question rather has been lingering in my mind...

Is the honest feeling or trait or an attribute...or whatever you wish to call it...but the bottom line is that.....Is TRUST still alive any possible form in this Earth??

Trust is something that drives the whole world around...I hope you will agree with me on that...if parents do not trust their son/daughter...if friends do not trust his/her buddy...if a lover is not trust worthy to his/her better half...where is the state of the whole relationship..??

Have you ever felt or trusted someone so much...that even be it the worst of the force or the worst of news passes through your ear and you trust the person so much that you don;t even ask him/her if something like that happened...??

If so please let me know and make me happy...I will agree TRUST still lives...

U fall in Love or...are you blinded by it..??

2006-09-26T07:46:00.000+08:00

Well...I always wondered..and hearing to my friend today who has just reached the U.S from India...She was someone who was not totally Gentleman's Lady..she was a howdy-rowdy-cowboy kind..with me since the time I met her through a common pal and have been in her company...

Loosing something is not new to her...infact she lost her gold ring that her mom gifted for her b'day...She did not feel for it..not more than 5 mins..I bet on that..but this day..i noticed a change..

Jus few months back...approximately an year ago...She fell in Love with a guy who is her buddy since childhood...who knew her few years less than what her mother did...who loved her a long time since her first cry in the cradle..that very second when she took her in her arms..God only knows how much of sacrifices and struggles n sleepless nights she had to face to bring this girl up...and the list just goes on...

She lost something that her boyfriend gave her...and was weeping right through the day..thank god she did not make the office floor wet...;))..jokes apart...I had to struggle for almost 30 minutes to make her understand...its not the end of the world...n she was saying anything and everything...with a BUT added to the end of the sentence...!!..

If's and But's apart...I asked her...Have you ever felt for anything that your parents have got for you and you lost it somewhere...??..Is she blinded by love or is it that...Love for the people whom you know that they will love you whatever happens with or around you...is it taken for granted...??

Looking for an answer...:-?????????

Waves of Change..

2006-08-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Was @ the beach this morning...what a start for a long week end..none to disturb..@ an isolated corner in the beach...Sun slowly waking out of its slumber...with the sun rays as its widely stretched arms..a pleasant scene...:)

The bridge where we sat...a pleasant place to sit but with the city's drain emptying its unending flow into it..the water was polluted...I wondered how'll it be if the water was clean...Huh soon the ring in my head reminded me that am in the city of Chennai...

With the sun fully out in all its glory...something magical happened.The waves started growing to reasonable heights and soon started filling in the garbage loaded backwater area under the bridge...man the sight of it..The slush that was created cause of this was initially not that pleasant a scene...but a few rounds of it..man the result is here for you to see...Just then a friend of mine who accompanied me said..."Waves of Change..."..(not the actual words but am condensing it in simple terms)...

Is life that way..??..Answers plz...

DrEaM...

2006-07-13T22:04:00.000+08:00

A rainy evening it was...Did my most favourite thing to do when it rains...Drenched myself from head to toe. Driving back from work was never so mesmerising an experience...

With such a pleasant thought in my mind...Home was even more appealing an heaven than usual..though I left my heart back at the place where I could get drenched in every drop of rain that was ready to kiss the Earth beneath...

What could make my internal ambience better...Grandma's contruibution as a mug of warm coffee...I went near the french window in my room to watch the rain drops forcefully wet the earth giving out the aroma of virgin wet earth...Awesome...

Things that were happening around me made my day and yes...This day is special in my life...With a scintillating smile from the bottom of my heart...I continued to watch outside the window sitting on the comfort that my grandpa's chair had to offer...

I watched a girl...About 18 to 19 years of age...Walking out side the gate of her house...Just to melt away in the heavens shower that was now pouring in all its glory.I wondered what she was upto...and the inquisitiveness made me stand up...With arms wide open she was ready to take on every single drop on her...It looked as if she wanted to hug the clouds above...I was thrilled..She was a girl very different,I could make that out from her very first act.I decided to continue watching...and with every single act of hers..When she let the rain drops run down her throat through her open mouth,with the flowers that she held in her graceful palm...with the way she carried a small puppy that was shivering from the wetting shower to its shelter...By the way she played with every small kid who enjoyed natures shower the same way she did...I wanted to get out of the house and join her...

To my surprise...When I lifted my eyes to look at her again...There she was waving her hands frantically towards me..Calling me to join her...I was stunned...Who is she...I don't know her..Have not met her ever...n she is calling me out to play in the rain...and even before I could respond she turned back to enjoy things her own way...Too curious to know who she was..I ran down the stairs leaving all the comfort of grandpa's chair and the luke warm coffee behind..Her acts were more magnetic...I ran towards the far end of the road where she was in the company of another kid...turning the other way...I prayed for her to stay there...and she did...I went close enough that she could hear me calling her..'Excuse Me..'...

My mobile rang...I woke up with a start...Still finding the rain to be pouring...I looked at the display hazily checking out who is the person who did not give me a chance to look at the face that was calling me out to join her in the rain...In my dreams...I found it to be 'U'...And the voice said..."Hey Its me,I was thinking of how could I possibly make your evening even more pleasant and beautiful,I happened to live in your dreams,the way you want me to be...and I am happy that I did make your evening more pleasant..Take care Love..Bye.."

I was lost...Was all that a dream..???I did not want it to end there...I wanted to look at 'Ur' face...Lost in time and place...Enjoying nature and the rain..As you are...

My eyes could do nothing but close the doors to reality and take me to my DREAMLAND...and there I stand calling you to look back at me...'Excuse me..'...

Blinded by emotions..??Some1 gimme a satisfactory answer..

2006-07-08T23:13:00.000+08:00

I have had this question in my mind for a long time now...Y do people cry when they get their girl married to someone and she takes her first step into a new life...A happy future awaits her..but is it right to start with a tear..??

the very fact that she is your daughter is not going to change at any cost...It is just that your family has grown a little more and the horizon has just widened...Y cry for that..Am confused...!!!

Its not Whom but What...n How Much..

2006-07-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

I had this talk with my real good friend months before...he used to tease me with the way I used to write things about Love though I have never experienced it from someone special in my life other than the most special people - My Family...

I used to tell him then..."Dude, you might find it strange...But its not about who is the person and about when you are going to meet her and how...But it is that...the way you love someone will always be reciprocated in one way or the other...like the way I Love and respect my faimily members I get it back from themm in the form of their Love...N I'll tell you the day I find the one who's meant for me and that day you'll understand what is that beautiful feeling which made me write this all..."...

N today...if my dear friend...If you are reading this...I have met her after a few initial hiccups..Am in Love...and always remember..its not about whom/what you think of and express your feelings...It is about how much that feeling matters to you and the way express it...

Thinking - a hinderance from trying things..??

2006-06-17T19:23:00.000+08:00

Conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution,
Is sicklied over with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment,
With this regard their currents turn awry And lose the name of action.

I read this passage in a beautiful article..I don't remember when...but it struck me suddenly and well..the thought process over this made me feel that this is actually true and fits in perfectly for a few perspectives in life..But for others...:-?

When Lizards can..Y can't we..!!!

2006-06-17T19:20:00.000+08:00

I got this one in a forward n felt it was worth a post...Man is the best of masters creation...but at times...inferiors teach us something...Check it out..:))

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan Breaks open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years! without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard, with food in its mouth.

Ahh! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...

Such help! such a beautiful love! Such happened even with this tiny creature ... What can help do? It can do wonders!

Help can do miracles!

Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Think, will u do that to your partner ?

Think that will you do it to your Mom,

Who brought you after a big struggle of TEN long months ?

Or at least to your Dad, Friends , Coworkers, Brothers & and Sisters ?

Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

I was touched when I heard this story and started wondering about relationships between family members, friends, coworkers, brothers, sisters.

As information and communication technology advances, our access to
information becomes faster and faster. But the distance between human
beings . . . is it getting closer as well?

I ask you...please never abandon your loved ones.

An Ode to Love...

2006-06-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

When I saw a million stars...
With my eyes closed,

When I heard a symphony...
In the silence of the woods,

When I did smell a rose...
In the dunes of a desert,

When I cherished the taste...
Even of plain cold water,

When I felt the warmth...
On a cold winter days breeze,

It ain't something strange,
Its just…Your Love...!!!
Not alone in my heart you Live,
Its even my senses you rule, My Love...!!!
In every breath I take and in every move I make,
I felt it had a meaning…something that is complete…
Its nothing but, Our Love...!!!

With you around…

2006-06-14T22:07:00.000+08:00

Nights and days went seamless,
Every lovely night went dreamless,
Your silence spoke a thousand words,
Your fragrance reminded me of a fresh garden rose,
Though I have volumes to say,
In front of you I loose myself, like a pin in stack of hay,
Looked into your eyes, soft yet bold,
Slowly I felt my feelings for you unfold,
Strange thoughts and instincts, was nothing short of a bliss,
My heart did cry to me – ‘Let me die with this’…
This feeling for you, I didn't know if it was wrong or right…
But every thought of you made my eyes shine bright,
Talking to you made my world so sweet,
Your mellow voice was divine than an orchestral feat,
I wanted the world to freeze forever,
Because I knew, if it had to be it was now or Never…!!!

Silence...

2006-06-06T00:41:00.001+08:00

The beauty of musical composition lies not in the note that you produce but in the duration of silence you manage to leave in between notes, and how you break away from the silence to strike chord with the melody you create...

Things of Past..Washed away...

2006-06-04T10:50:00.000+08:00

Last night...Mannnn..was it Chennai..Couldn't believe my own eyes..i doubted my sense of smell when i smelt wet sand...Checked out through the window...It was so cloudy with mild drizzles showering down...Told to myself..'Don't miss this chance'..Went out on my bike...It started pouring a few minutes after I started...mind U the time was about 10-30 in the night...So not much of traffic to bother about...Was an experience to cherish...I dropped back @ my place an hour later...Was covered up with all possible spoils of war with rain that I could pick up from the streets..;))

I went right away to the terrace...not wantin to miss a single drop of rain that was showered..Sat on top of tank(the tallest point on any terrace) as I wanted check out the droplets strike hard on the surface of Earth...was a spectacular sight...I loved it..Just then...My sis who was sitting next to me made a simple statement from nowhere...that made so much of sense - She simply said - 'Hey dude, look @ what the rain does, Dirt n garbage accumulate on the road all day,slowly but steadily they begin to choke them up...But the rain is a blessing that right from the moment it hits the earth, it does a lot of good...a boon for water lovers like us,an awesome bike drive to be cherished...n a lot of goodies are brought along with it in various perspectives...But the fact tat I noticed only today is that, It jus clears all the debris on the surface n corners them..Making the road to life a clean n clear patch for you to drive now and tomorrow...The debris of the past are meant to be washed away...!!..'

I told to myself...the rain taught me something that I'll never forget...'Don't load Ur heart which is just the size of your fist with so much of heavy feeling's...wash away all the hatered n hard feeling's..ain't worth living with them...'

Censored...Wut the Hell...!!!

2006-06-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

Hola...For the first time am postin an opinion instaed of some feelin's n emotions...Out of them all now...Well...Here I go...

Morning papers gave me the gud news tat the most awaited movie atleast for me was gonna be shown from this Friday...Happy n cheerful...I tried loggin on the site to check for tickets..Not listed again...has been the same since last evenin..

Checkin mornin news was always a routine in my house..N there was this usual streak of terrorist attacks n counter attacks...Political drama et all the buzzes...The news tat caught my attention was..'The Da Vinci Code' is banned for release in my state...!!!

I went crazy...I mean who are the members of the censor board to decide on wut we are supposed to see or not to...If at all its not in the cinema halls..Won't there be CD's n DVD's...branded or pirated out in the market..:-?..

N the best part is tat - 'The person who directs the movie is a Christian, the laeds et others cast in the movie are Christians...N above all the movie is a Block buster hit in all major Christian countries of the world..'..So when such a movie which is branded controversial by everyone on religious grounds..Is not minded in major countries where the religion is practised...I wonder Y do ppl in our country make such a fuss abt it...???None can answer...

I hav a statement..rather suggestions to make here...

Do we need a censor board to direct us wut is right n wut is wrong...We as humans have the sixth sense to think for ourselves n someone who doesn't even realize this becomes the president of the censor board n directs rathers controls us on wut we are supposed to see n wut not...!!!...this is the height of INSANITY...!!!

Can there be somethin done about this guys...!!!

Lesson from a PUG...

2006-05-29T17:14:00.000+08:00

Was at Bharath's place this evening...He got a new dog, atleast tats wut I thought...I found her out of place when I entered his place...

I don't want to refer her as a dog..I hate doin tat...So am referin to her as Ms.P..As she's a pug...N I would like to tell somethin abt her first even before I begin wut she taught me...
She was actually at a transit home rite now...n was brought along wid an other friend of Bharath...She was his relatives pet n they were out of the town for long n they had no other option but to leave her bak wid some person who would take care of her as they did...They found a place...but it so happened tat Ms.P wouldn't settle in there cuz there were already few pets there n she didn''t get her share of proper care n attention...She expected tat she would get everythin wut it was like bak @ home...

Ms.P was one of those kinds tat she wanted everythin/every1 the way she wanted them to be n wouldn't give a damn to the hardships tat others went thro' in settin bak things rite but in the course of their settin things rite if somethin happens tat would spoil her equilibrium n zone of comfort..She would erupt...

I met her in such a state...n as am a very gud companion n I like shoulderin ppl..rather I'm brought up tat way tat the comfort of souls around u is important for U to be happy...It was no different cuz Ms.P had emotions too..I was wid her all possible times...n everytime she was down I was there for her...Cuddlin her...makin her forget all her worries n I wondered if I started likin her..n i did..more than like...I Loved her...N she did Love me as well..

I wished Ms.P was my pet n would be wid me always...atleast in her company n wid none remindin tat someday she might hav to go away..I felt she was all mine n showered her wid Love...I have never felt this way for any other pet I hav come across..Though there were few really sweet ones..

In d mean time...Ms.P owners decided to find her a new place n found one for her...N she was moved there...even there..I tried to make it a point tat she shouldn't feel out of place n lonely..n wid time she started gettin accoustomed to the new place...N she got few more gud new friends..I was happy for her..N she was treated as if she was @ her own home...She was happy...n so was I...n whenever I went to C her..She would jump up in joy n wid a few more ppl to share her time wid I understood her n didn't expect her to b wid me all time...

On one fine day...Her owners came bak jus for a few days n they met her..She was of course overjoyed...n it so happened tat wid in those few days few bitter exchange of emotions n thoughts happened n she was also a victim of it...Not knowin wut to do..She started behavin strange to almost every1 she knew...even Bharath who knew her for years...I was no different...she did the same wid me...but the aftermath was the worst part...She started ignorin any1 n every1...Esp me..n my feelin's for her no longer mattered..!!!

I then wondered..'Wutever is happenin now, is somethin very similar to wutever is happenin wid me...Is this a coincidence or is time tryin to teach me a lesson'..She came out of nowhere one fine day n now she's all gone...not even wantin to respond to me..Is tat all anyones emotions worth...is tat all...:-?..'..I didn't know the answer...but I wanted to find out...Jus then Bharath told me...'Dude,I know u liked her from th bottom of Ur heart...but she found somethin better...somethin more appealin to her than wut she has now...N tats d way life is...MOVE ON...'
'MOVE ON...'..i still have those words ringin in my ears now...'Yes,I know tat I Love her n she knows tat i do...So where's the point in feelin bad if she doesn't recioprocate wut I feel for her..i don't loose a thing...If its not the Pug..I could be some other breed always..A lot of others r worth my Love n care n attention than a stupid Ms.P makin me feel out of place...'..N someday she'll realize wut she has missed.."A Pure Carin heart n a very gud companion n friend"..But when she realizes tat I would be far away not even in a position to provide her shoulder...though I would Love n care for her the same way I do now...!!!

The Other Side...

2006-05-28T01:43:00.000+08:00

I always wondered how true was the adage...'The grass is always greener on the other side...'...Its all illusion...God damn it...N trust me...No one is worth Your Love n emotions...n Ur trust...!!! other than Ur parents or your immediate family...even there...Beware...!!!

I woke up from my nap this evenin...I found few things on my bed tat Usually r wid me...while I sleep...two pillows n some music...I had my I-pod next to me...I hav had this wid me over the past few months...N trust me its the first gadget I have Loved wid all my heart...My passion for the gud old music increased n I was happy tat I found the right thing on which I could build it on...Though it could hold jus a thousand songs in it...b there were better ones available...I still Loved it as it was the best...I trusted it n I did blindly...My Love for it blinded me as I thought I wouldn't be soundin tat sweet to any1's ears other than mine...but alas it was not the truth...It did sound the same to every1 who laid its hands on n it did hurt me...Its me who owned it..its me whom it meant more than jus another gadget for me..I Loved it..but it didn't even realize it...

Was happy n comfortable in my hands...Smilin @ me happily when I did charge it whenever it needed a boost to run...Kept it updated as I didn't want my Love to loose the race..All this for wut..Jus to find tat I meant nothin to It...Jus 2 find out tat It had been runnin around lying to me...!!!

I still found it difficult to take but the fact was tat the uniqueness in feelin tat I had for it was no more...I started lookin out for a better one whom I could think of n make it understand wut the void created in my emotional castle n fill it wid the right one...rather than cribbin abt the wrong 1 which I felt was right...I would like to prove someday tat...Wut it/she missed was somethin more precious than wut she thought I was worth...cuz she felt...'The grass is Greener on the other side...'...!!!

Nice shot..;)

2006-05-27T23:49:00.000+08:00

Comfort...err...Zone...

2006-05-26T20:46:00.000+08:00

I wonder wut it takes for others to be comfortable wid U...This thought stirred up in my mind after a chain of events tat happened right in front of my eyes...

The pawn shop right outside my office...I was wid my friend who was enjoyin his usual pleasure of a smoke after lunch this afternoon...The pawn shop guy is 2 busy durin this time of the day...Hoards of pple visitin his shop after a fillin lunch...Smokes n bheeda's were all tat he sold...
I saw a stray dog(wonder if any1 would call it tat...cuz it looked a lot cleaner than few domesticated ones tat I hav seen...)...Have seen it there before runnin around the shop...it was a pet for every1 who visits the place...The pawn shop guy was the person who owned it I believe...They were a perfect master n pet...But somethin happened today...The guy was infuriated wid somethin tat was happenin wid him n he was disturbed...He shouted @ the dog n hit it wid all he could get n shooed it away...

All he said was..."I don't like tat dog anymore...i'm not comfortable wid it around...!!!.."..But y...wut did tat dog do...Wut was its mistake...it being loyal to U, or it Loving U unconditionally...Or it thinkin tat there was no one beyond U in this earth n it was destined to be wid U forever...Wut did it do...n if at all U r confused wid somethin else Y do u have to bring everythin to be vented out on that poor dog...:-?..I pinched myself to check if it was me who spoke all this...Rather I didn't speak them myself..but things happenin wid me over the past few weeks for which am still searchin for answers n i think I always will made me say all tat...

If some1 being too nice to U is the reason for U too loose Ur comfort wid tat person...there could be only 2 reasons...One is U r blinded wid confusion or two its all tat the person/animals Love hardly matters to U...!!!

When I saw the dog come bak to him n tried to cajole him...Cuz it had understood its master too well...N there was some1 who spoke to him about wut he was doin the master sensed the right thing to do and accepted the dof bak wid all his Love..

In real life, six sensed humans can't think of the way the dog did...Y??..I questioned myself...n the answer was simple..humans r self centered...Might be bitter but its the truth...'I want it...Yep I do..n if I don't want it later...I have a thousands of reasons to give or simply escape the whole thing by sayin...I DON'T KNOW Y..!!!..but its jus tat am not comfortable n I don't like it anymore...'...

I wonder wut the real meaning of Comfort n Comfort zone...Can some1 gimme an answer...:-?...

The Knife's realization...

2006-05-26T00:42:00.000+08:00

The knife had somehow learnt tat my friend had no intentions of comin bak to it...N soon for the fact tat there r others around who needs the knife's favour n who respect the knife's presence more than wut my friend did...captured its attention...The knife said to itself- 'If at all am gonna be happy...Its for them...'...N so did it stand by its words...But the knife always has a small hope in the corner of its feeling's tat says - 'Will my Love ever realize its worth for me n come bak...The answer..No one knows...Not even my friend...'...

Life moved on smoothly n the knife was pretty much bak to its usage routine..But in the hands of others who now mattered...making the day easier for a lot of ppl around...N one fine day...a Fork...My friends gud companion for a long time was placed right next to the Knife...It knew my friend too well as it had been in her hands for a long time now...

The Fork told the Knife - 'Hey...I jus asked her abt wutever she was doin to U...She was worried tat U would end up not being used ever n get rusted n become a worthless possession...Though she possesses U...She'll never get bak to U...Though it hurts...This is the truth...So remember the fact tat U have realized now n keep goin ahead...Cuz she has lost the comfort of using U wid all the Love she had...'...

The knife wonders...'She lost the comfort wid me...But for wut reason...Was me being too nice to her a mistake...Should I have chopped her fingers off everytime she banged me on the cutter board wid others fury vented upon me...:-?...Should I have not been so patient or the biggest reason is tat my Love for her is not worth to be comfortable wid or to be cherished...No one knows..Not even her...!!!...Or of all is this all am worth'...

Sayin this the knife moves on Living its life...But the fact tat she's the FIRST LOVE of the Knife's life can never be changed by any1...N the knife believes in Unconditionally Loving n Living...!!!...N the Fork wonders when the knife says...'I still hav a li'l hope left some where in the corner of my heart...'...

Crux of Luv...

2006-05-22T11:56:00.000+08:00

Woke up wid the sun directin its rays thro' the window in my room...directed right on my face...I wondered if wut I was thinking was right...rather wut I hav decided was right...N right on tat very instant,the youngest of my cousin's came runnin into the room to check if I was awake...findin my eyes wide open,he knew he wasn't gonna disturb me wid his next act...He climbed right beside me on the bed...Jus to hug me n gave a sweet peck on my cheek to greet me Gud Morning...

I wondered if in the past few years have I ever received a better greetin to start the day wid...The answer is Nope...!!!

Wid all tat I was goin thro' the past few weeks, few thought flushes rushed in my mind as if a dam was opened up n the first strem of water ran down wid all its force of FREEDOM...rather it wasn't freedom...it was the stagnant state tat was broken n there it was free to express its force,zeal,power et all...Though it didn't know how many thankful souls were waitin on its path..where every drop of it will be rejoiced...

' True...The crux of Luv is to be unconditional and express yourself to the maximum...N for ppl who rejoice it they'll n this would solve the purpose...of an emotion so beautiful when realized n showered n it doesn't decide who deserves how much...but the way U look at it n the way U cherish n realize the fact tat U r loved so much...!!!...'

Wut u deserve...Who decides tat...!!!

2006-05-21T12:44:00.000+08:00

Following to the Knife post...my friend did get bak to the knife...But jus to inform the knife tat..."Y don't U be smart enought to understand tat i don't like u any more..."...i wouldn't mind U as my friend...rather I would want u as my friend...but it is nothin beyond mere friendship...the special relationship tat we shared is no more...its dead...N the reason..."U shower me more Love than wut I deserve..."

The knife asked a question to itself - 'How much of ur Love does some1 deserve, is it U who has to decide tat or is it tat concerned person...If U r not express the love U have for tat person tell him/her tat this is the way I'm...N if tat person really Loves U won't he/she understand even this simple aspect tat this is all u can express..."...

The answers r still to fit in the last few spaces of the jig-saw tat has been jumbled on the knife's mind for sometime now...!!!

Commitment...

2006-05-21T10:50:00.000+08:00

Was talkin to my dad last night while watchin the match...Was an occasion when Lara got out...Ventin out all his frustration for the loose stroke tat he played...He swung the bat as if it was some huge axe tat would have halved anythin on its way...I felt a li'l bad for him..N said...'Poor Guy...'..Couldn't prove his commitment this time...

My dads reply stunned me...he said..."Hari,wut if he is not able to prove himself n his commitment by batting well...The game is still not over...There r other ways in which he can prove himself as the Captain of the side...Its not alone about the game...be it any situation and any event happening in ur life...U r the Captain of Ur Life...n to prove Ur commitment towards other ppl/things...If u don't do it in one way...There's always a second door openin up...Its how cool U keep Urself n how much of confidence U have in you tat decides how successful you r in ur next attempt..."

I said -'Very true dad...But though you r commited towards the game n u jus couldn't prove yourself thro' wut U r best @...U think U will b recognized for ur smaller efforts taken n Ur commitment will be noted...'

Dad - "Y do U need to prove others tat U r still commited though U failed in jus one attempt...First learn tat U need to prove Urself only to U...when U r successful in achieving tat...Others would have learnt a lot about U and ur commitment and things will go the way u want...I hope U understand wut am talkin abt...Don't squeeze Ur brains much @ this point in time...if its meant to be proved n realized...it'll b...If not its not meant to be...But don't loose ur commitment jus cuz its not recognized by others...Soon others will realize...Sleep well...Gud night..."

N all i could reply was... - "Dad, I Love U, thanx a tonne...:)"....

Its Urself...

2006-05-18T10:42:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered wut...why...who...is a reason for a big chunk of problems U undergo everyday...I was sleepin last night n the god damn power supply was at the peak of its irritable form...Went all the way to the terrace...to be in nature's company on my favourite hang out...The tank on the terrace...

As I lay down there...Lookin at the clear nights sky...A million things runnin in my mind...i started lookin for answers to them...A strange thought struck...The black night sky had somethin to tell me..."When U enter this world from your mother's womb,Ur heart and mind are as blank as the night sky right now...It is all that U load into Urself wid time...its all tat u learn and u Unlearn...wut U feel and U fail to feel...All tat U realize n fail to realize...Wut U do to others n others do to U...tat loads Ur mind n heart wid feelings n gyan...Love n hate...anythin n everythin...n if U look at it all...There's one person who's common in all this tat happens...U!!...though the other person/thing keeps changing...

N half the things tat happen wid U r a direct consequence of wut U do...How u Love...Whom u Love...How n whom U hate...its jus U...n all U do to urself...But U end up blaming others for wut U do to urself...Is tat fair...Not to me atleast..."...

"Its wut U do, tat DEFINE's U..."...

The Knife...Tat hurt n tat was hurt...!!!

2006-05-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

I have a chef friend who was pretty new to cooking few months before...right from the day she started to learn to cook...She was very choosy abt the knife she holds to cut her vegetables...She was feeling gud wid it right from day 1...She did start realizin on how to handle tat knife n soon she was very comfortable wid it...But jus a few months passed by n she was gettin pretty much matured on the cooking front n she jus handled the knife wid ease...might be she took the knife for granted for it'll always be there for her to use whenever she wants to...n tat was a truth...the knife was so comfortable in her hands tat it came to a state tat it decided even if somethin wrong happened it wouldn't run away ever...!!!

She soon became so fond of tat knife...tat anythin and everythin happened to her..though she had so many ppl around her to talk to...She would talk to the knife...n she would feel happy about it giving her a feeling as if her problems were halved...She started using the knife in all possible ways she could...n was infact delighted wid the company of it...She was in Love wid the knife...!!!

...N the knife was so happy when it was in her hands tat the moment it would forget as t how much of strain it was put to when used..but it was happy to be jus in her company n wished it to last forever...even after my friend would cease from being a cook...

Jus as time went by...external forces did disturb her on a few occasions and she jus didn't know how to handle things herself...She would restore to her favourite activity...Cooking...But there were few times tat she did cut her fingers while she used the knife wid much of other things runnin in her mind...N soon problems seemed to mount on her...rather she was thinking of them too much tat clouded her thoughts...N day by day the knife was handled a lot rougher...n she ended up cuttin her own fingers on a few more occasions...

One fine evening when she was clouded with so many other things in mind...She did cut her fingers once again...N this time the result was a lot more unexpected...She thought that the knife was no gud anymore n told to herself tat she won't use the knife anymore...!!!

She was so decisive tat she started lookin out for other options to vent out wutever she was goin thro'...She found out other ways to accomplish wutever she wanted to do for her cooking and as long as he got wut she wanted she hardly cared about what the knife was goin through...!!!

The poor Knife...All it could do was talk to itself...cuz she was no more interested in hearing wut the knife had to say to her about how much it suffered att her loss...the knife cried -

"She jus failed to realize tat everytime she did cut her fingers..She had the stroke too hard tat her fingers would've been chopped off had it been any other knife...but I was so considerate n loved HER so much tat I took all the blows myself n just ended up givin HER jus a small bruise to worry about...

But for HER this bruise is big enough to take n she could take it no more...N she jus didn't realize how I would feel...not even knowing if SHE would ever get back to it and start being the same way to ME as she was before..."

But the knife decided to wait on till my friend did realize the decisions she took wid jus her in mind...n would get back to use THE KNIFE again...

After all..Hope is wut that keeps our hearts pumping...!!!

Fear of the unknown...

2006-05-17T20:02:00.000+08:00

Ever wondered if a second division football player can ever run on the pitch in the place of Wayne Rooney for England right from match 1 in the upcoming world cup...the very thouhgt of it sounds funny for us but imagine the English Team Manager ever havin to do somethin like tat...he'll have the worst ever series of sleepless nights before the game cuz he knows 99% it'll be d craziest act ever done in the history of English FootBall...The very thought of it can't escape his mind...Will his try be worth it...will it materialize the way he exopects it to...A huge list of unanswered questions linger all over his mind and the very thought hangs around him wid every activity he does until the moment of truth arrives and the results are atleast satisfactory...to start with...

Till the time something like tat doesn't happen there's always the fear of somethin tat rules his mind...Can't deny it...if he does somethin like tat and it doesn't click He might not even be the manager of the team after the Cup is over...there ends his career...it doesn't end here...it actually begins...

The fear of the manager is well expressed and understood...but there are other two ppl who r involved in this whole chain of actions...One is the person who's actually gonna run the pitch in the place or Rooney...His fears are his own..How would he perform on the bigger stage...he would hav the heart to perform well..otherwise his dreams of playin for the National team is doomed...The other person is Rooney himself...If at all the new comer performs way above standards of Rooney...will he ever get the same importance he used to in the team??No assurance...

It is very similar to ppl n situations in Life...there is always a fear of the unknown...the fear of being left hanging about in the air...Ppl change only with their own feelings and circumstances in mind...They hardly think of wut others will under go when they talk and do things tat involves other dear n near ones too..the worst ever fear is the fear of Being IGNORED...for a short time or forever...and when once such a feeling kicks in there's hardly anybodys words tat will matter to U than the person himself/herself who gets back to reassure things...After all...Other's feelings hardly matter these days...

Priorities...!!!

2006-05-04T12:58:00.000+08:00

Its somethin tat occupies ya parents mind till the time U get to stand on Ur own legs...Then when U finish off Ur schoolin...n U actually start thinkin abt how life is to b wid Ur parents not around U to support U from now...(not tat they r gonna b away but its Ur life n U decide wut to do wid it...Live it or dump it..)...

College courses...Future career prospects...blah blah blah..U hav a thousand n 1 things in mind jus to keep U occupied n end of the day all U find out is tat...-"The GRASS is GREENER on the other SIDE..."...but my inner voice said...'Dude...b careful when U handle things...Cuz i don't n time doesn't give U a second chance to decide n live this very second that jus passed by...'...but still- DO WE ACTUALLY PRIOROTIZE things in life...be it anythin...Carrer...Everyday life...Love...Loved Ones...Nope..Its jus tat we get carried away wid ppl or thought who/which are close to our hearts at tat particular phase of time...N even though we may try 2 priorotize things n thwe way we see them...practically...Its the impulse which drives U...tat VERY SECOND which U don't get bak ever...

A simple happenin made me realize this truth last night before I went to sleep...n this is no place to vent out this...but the hurricane created in my mind was to fierce tat I had to vent it out somewhere...N tats wut I jus did...:))

fIlLiNg VoIds...

2006-05-01T17:32:00.000+08:00

Was on the couch listenin to my fav musician perform live...Too many things on my mind...I decided to close my eyes n put my thoughts away...for a while though as I knew escapism is not the solution for wutever was runnin in my mind...!!!

Met a sister who longed to hav a brother..who wanted more of my attention though I tried my best to give my everyday share of time tat I can spend for others who mattered to me...N the sweetest sister...who's a lot more than wut am puttin out in mere words here...n d list jus goes on wid the best friends I hav n to every person who needs my attention...N with every person i thought of then n tried to brief my relationship I shared wid them in few sentences...i wasn't able to do it in mind as there were too many to think of...I was afraid I would loose count...I decided to pen down their names n those few sentences...

Jus as the list went by I found out one thing pretty common...All those relationship's..of all forms...Friends, cousins, elders..startin right from my parents to my sibling n even ppl who were strong enough to etch their name in my mind though its only once I've met them...Everyone were unique in their own way...But they all did the same thing..They @ some point or the other did fill tat empty spaces of happiness n meaningfulness in life n still lived their life...

It was jus then I realized tat whoever U meet n whoever is there in Ur life is meant to be there to fill in THOSE so called meaningless VOID's of emotions...!!!

The Start...

2006-03-08T14:15:00.000+08:00

Basking under the Sun,
Thoughts of going back home,in my mind did run,
Rejoiced every second of it,
Regretting thoughts about going back never did hit,
Paternal feelings were kindled like hearth fire,
The more I thought about it,flying I was higher,
Reached the spot,getting ready to depart,
It was after seeing her,I felt -'The Journey hasn't ended,it has just made a START...'!!
Looking into her eyes,
Made me feel like a pair of thrown dice,
Silence was never so golden,
And every second my feelings for her did bolden,
Ignorant I was till I felt the rising sign,
And time it was when my heart ruled,and my mind did resign,
Lost myself to her,was all did I know,
Only then I read the message - 'I was in LOVE..'..!!!

Be Happy With...

2006-01-11T19:23:00.000+08:00

It was just another day at office and I did not have much to do or work on back at office for a few weeks now..except for a constant push from my friend to learn something that would do me some good...I was tired after playing some Table Tennis with few colleagues..(One good reason why I stay late in the office)..And off I was with plans of going home and having a nice dinner and right mood to hit the sack...

There I was outside my office listening to my favourite tracks on my I-pod and humming the tune and air-guitaring as if I was the next Joe Satriani...I was all happy that I was going to meet my dad after few weeks...

Everything was right till the time I boarded the usually crowded Mumbai local train..and I was all lucky to get a seat at the right spot...next to a window and the wind was just brushing my face...

I looked up and there she was...Clad in a black typical girlish Salwar-kameez..She was all laughing and giggling...I liked the ambience she was filling the place with n the way she was making her companions laugh.I couldn't take my eyes off her and God knows for how long I was staring at the beautiful creation of God I've seen so far...The train screeched to a halt and that jerk brought me back to the shore and prevented me from drowning in the beauty of this girl in front of me...

She was everything any normal guy could ask for..beautiful,witty,full of Life and above all very sweet..She even sang when a small boy who accompanied her asked her to..

Soon all the excitement came down due to some unknown reason..And now there she was sittin silently in front of me and I did try to observe her...Soon to my amazement I found her looking straight at me..Not moving her eyes off me..!!

I did not know what was wrong with her or in other words I wondered 'Is something wrong with me'...!!!...I unalarmingly if she was trying to see someone sitting right behind me..So I moved from the place where I sat to the adjacent to my current position..But that did no good...She was still looking at the same place where she did but the only change was that it was empty now...

I wondered...'Wut is she looking at...!!!'...I did not have the guts to ask her this but I was too curious to find out..I wanted to..I got friendly with the kid that made her sing in her sweetest of voices...N soon I knew she was with her parents and her brother and cousin..I did not waste a chance in introducing myself to the others and to my shock she was still looking at the same place...Not even winking her eyes...!!

I decided to put across a question now..I asked the kid his name..Then curious to know wut her name was..I went questioning him about everyones name and finally ended up with knowing her name - 'Preethi'..She was still doing the same strange thing to which I was now used to..I striked up a conversation with her as would any other guy - A default 'Hello..!!'...

She responded but still looking at the same spot..That was it..I could not tolerate this anymore...I'm not a person who hesitates to clear my doubts and esp. this time I wanted to..And I had to do it fast as my stop was jus 2 stations away..

I got all my courage together and asked her - 'Preethi..If U don't mind can I ask you something..Why is it that you don't look up at the person when you speak..?'...And the reply shook me up..it was her little naughty brother saying..'Uncle..Didi dekh nahi sakti...'..And suddenly everything seemed too silent and distant for me..I didn't know how to react..I restricted myself to a mild - 'Sorry..!!'..and I did remain silent..She said..'Don't be..'..It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it..'..The train halted and it was my destination..I said bye n left..patting the kid on his head..n portraying a very obvious fake smile..!!

I started walking the regular lane from Byculla station back home and today it was not the usual walk...Suddenly my I-pod sounded strange to me..I turned it off...And walked..

Thoughts of the train journey flashed in my mind..'She had everything,she was beautiful,a nice sweet and nice..She was like a girl whom I could introduce to my parents and relatives as my soul-mate...For that matter any guy's parent..but why it had to happen to her..!!!...'

Even before this turmoil in my mind was over I reached home..Had my dinner..I decided not to think much about it as she was not the only one with such a condition..!!I decided to sleep..but there was something that was haunting me..I let my mind run wild..

These were my innermost feelings..-'How many times have I complained to myself and to others as to how boring life was...How many times have I told someone that Life wasn't fair with me...How many times I have felt for mere petty earthly things...'..Even though I had evrything that I needed for my basic necessity...'SURVIVAL'...!!!

Something shook my whole mental condition..I could still recollect her words.."It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it.."..

I thought to myself..n decided..I'm gifted and I'll not complaint about a thing from that moment...!!I told myself - Be Contented with what you Have...!!!

I was In LOVE...!!!

2006-01-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

When I waited all these years,and I found U,
I felt I was in Love,

When I closed my eyes,and All I saw was U,
I felt I was in Love,

When my breathin was troubled,and I still smelled U,
I felt I was in Love,

Wid my ears closed,and All I heard was Ur voice,
I felt I was in Love,

With something in mind,and All I speak is of U,
I felt I was in Love,

With my skin going numb n senseless,and I still felt Ur warmth,
I felt I was in Love,

And someday when all my senses are down,
And when my soul is out for eternity,
And U hear a distant shreik calling ur name...
I wish atleast then U'll say.."I was in Love...."....!!!

Live Ur Life...!!!

2006-01-05T16:48:00.000+08:00

With the moon light brightening d darker sky,
Silence in the air,as if a ghost was it haunted by,

Near the window,wid my thoughts stranded,
Searching something in the dark,my eyes wandered,

Suddenly a voice,milder than a whisper,
Caught my attention,n was gettin crisper,

Was it true,or an illusion,
A flower bud talkin to me,caused all the confusion,

I covered my ears,and away did I walk,
Still wondering,if flowers could talk,

Curious I was,to hear it though,
So I picked it up,from the floor below,

Touching was it,and I almost did cry,
When It told me - "Hear to me before I die..!!",

I told the flower,'Go ahead...',
With unfelt feelings making my eyes red,

Here is wut the flower told me,Tat I decided to pass along -

"Up I was in that tree,
Which all of my kind used to envy,
I told to myself,'I'll bloom tomorrow',
But Autumn struck,to my grief and sorrow,
I failed in the past,and I have no future,
And neither did I live the present,to have memories to nurture,
And before I die,a note to U,
Live the Present,as the past is gone and the future is DUE...!!!"....