Be Happy With...

It was just another day at office and I did not have much to do or work on back at office for a few weeks now..except for a constant push from my friend to learn something that would do me some good...I was tired after playing some Table Tennis with few colleagues..(One good reason why I stay late in the office)..And off I was with plans of going home and having a nice dinner and right mood to hit the sack...

There I was outside my office listening to my favourite tracks on my I-pod and humming the tune and air-guitaring as if I was the next Joe Satriani...I was all happy that I was going to meet my dad after few weeks...

Everything was right till the time I boarded the usually crowded Mumbai local train..and I was all lucky to get a seat at the right spot...next to a window and the wind was just brushing my face...

I looked up and there she was...Clad in a black typical girlish Salwar-kameez..She was all laughing and giggling...I liked the ambience she was filling the place with n the way she was making her companions laugh.I couldn't take my eyes off her and God knows for how long I was staring at the beautiful creation of God I've seen so far...The train screeched to a halt and that jerk brought me back to the shore and prevented me from drowning in the beauty of this girl in front of me...

She was everything any normal guy could ask for..beautiful,witty,full of Life and above all very sweet..She even sang when a small boy who accompanied her asked her to..

Soon all the excitement came down due to some unknown reason..And now there she was sittin silently in front of me and I did try to observe her...Soon to my amazement I found her looking straight at me..Not moving her eyes off me..!!

I did not know what was wrong with her or in other words I wondered 'Is something wrong with me'...!!!...I unalarmingly if she was trying to see someone sitting right behind me..So I moved from the place where I sat to the adjacent to my current position..But that did no good...She was still looking at the same place where she did but the only change was that it was empty now...

I wondered...'Wut is she looking at...!!!'...I did not have the guts to ask her this but I was too curious to find out..I wanted to..I got friendly with the kid that made her sing in her sweetest of voices...N soon I knew she was with her parents and her brother and cousin..I did not waste a chance in introducing myself to the others and to my shock she was still looking at the same place...Not even winking her eyes...!!

I decided to put across a question now..I asked the kid his name..Then curious to know wut her name was..I went questioning him about everyones name and finally ended up with knowing her name - 'Preethi'..She was still doing the same strange thing to which I was now used to..I striked up a conversation with her as would any other guy - A default 'Hello..!!'...

She responded but still looking at the same spot..That was it..I could not tolerate this anymore...I'm not a person who hesitates to clear my doubts and esp. this time I wanted to..And I had to do it fast as my stop was jus 2 stations away..

I got all my courage together and asked her - 'Preethi..If U don't mind can I ask you something..Why is it that you don't look up at the person when you speak..?'...And the reply shook me up..it was her little naughty brother saying..'Uncle..Didi dekh nahi sakti...'..And suddenly everything seemed too silent and distant for me..I didn't know how to react..I restricted myself to a mild - 'Sorry..!!'..and I did remain silent..She said..'Don't be..'..It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it..'..The train halted and it was my destination..I said bye n left..patting the kid on his head..n portraying a very obvious fake smile..!!

I started walking the regular lane from Byculla station back home and today it was not the usual walk...Suddenly my I-pod sounded strange to me..I turned it off...And walked..

Thoughts of the train journey flashed in my mind..'She had everything,she was beautiful,a nice sweet and nice..She was like a girl whom I could introduce to my parents and relatives as my soul-mate...For that matter any guy's parent..but why it had to happen to her..!!!...'

Even before this turmoil in my mind was over I reached home..Had my dinner..I decided not to think much about it as she was not the only one with such a condition..!!I decided to sleep..but there was something that was haunting me..I let my mind run wild..

These were my innermost feelings..-'How many times have I complained to myself and to others as to how boring life was...How many times have I told someone that Life wasn't fair with me...How many times I have felt for mere petty earthly things...'..Even though I had evrything that I needed for my basic necessity...'SURVIVAL'...!!!

Something shook my whole mental condition..I could still recollect her words.."It is something I'm used to and I can't complaint about it...I'll have to live with it.."..

I thought to myself..n decided..I'm gifted and I'll not complaint about a thing from that moment...!!I told myself - Be Contented with what you Have...!!!

I was In LOVE...!!!

When I waited all these years,and I found U,
I felt I was in Love,

When I closed my eyes,and All I saw was U,
I felt I was in Love,

When my breathin was troubled,and I still smelled U,
I felt I was in Love,

Wid my ears closed,and All I heard was Ur voice,
I felt I was in Love,

With something in mind,and All I speak is of U,
I felt I was in Love,

With my skin going numb n senseless,and I still felt Ur warmth,
I felt I was in Love,

And someday when all my senses are down,
And when my soul is out for eternity,
And U hear a distant shreik calling ur name...
I wish atleast then U'll say.."I was in Love...."....!!!

Live Ur Life...!!!

With the moon light brightening d darker sky,
Silence in the air,as if a ghost was it haunted by,

Near the window,wid my thoughts stranded,
Searching something in the dark,my eyes wandered,

Suddenly a voice,milder than a whisper,
Caught my attention,n was gettin crisper,

Was it true,or an illusion,
A flower bud talkin to me,caused all the confusion,

I covered my ears,and away did I walk,
Still wondering,if flowers could talk,

Curious I was,to hear it though,
So I picked it up,from the floor below,

Touching was it,and I almost did cry,
When It told me - "Hear to me before I die..!!",

I told the flower,'Go ahead...',
With unfelt feelings making my eyes red,

Here is wut the flower told me,Tat I decided to pass along -

"Up I was in that tree,
Which all of my kind used to envy,
I told to myself,'I'll bloom tomorrow',
But Autumn struck,to my grief and sorrow,
I failed in the past,and I have no future,
And neither did I live the present,to have memories to nurture,
And before I die,a note to U,
Live the Present,as the past is gone and the future is DUE...!!!"....